Tag Archive | "Edwin Jackson"

Field of Streams: Fantasy Pitching Options

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Field of Streams: Fantasy Pitching Options

Posted on 20 May 2013 by Will Emerson

Yes, yes, yes, it is that time again! Time to take a look at some fantasy pitching options for the upcoming week. The following pitchers have a great chance of being available in your league and may just be the key to fantasy victory.

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Edwin Jackson, CHC- E-Jax has had a bumpy 2013 with the Cubbies so far, but I have always been a fan of his work. Jackson is not an ace, by any means, but should certainly be a solid fantasy option at the SP slot. Well, E-JAx is 1-6 with an ERA over five on the season, but he really has not pitched that poorly. Really, I’m serious! The K/9 is over eight and the xFIP and SIERA are both under four. The struggle has been with men on base, as Jackson’s LOB% is under 60 right now. Jackson will pitch at Pittsburgh this week, which is no gimme match up for him, but I like the odds of him righting his ship so to speak in this one.

Brandon McCarthy, ARI- After a slow start with the D-Backs, McCarthy is really starting to settle in. In McCarthy’s last two starts he has thrown 17 scoreless innings, 17?! Now those innings were against the Phillies and the lowly Marlins, so let’s not go too overboard with these outings. McCarthy should be much better than his early season numbers, and a solid three or maybe four, fantasy starter. But this week McCarthy has the Padres, so you can expect another ace like outing from him this week.

Tom Koehler, MIA- Do I know a ton about Koehler? No. What I do know is he has rattled off back-to-back decent starts for the Fish. On Saturday, against the D-backs, he hurled six strong innings allowing one earned run on three hits, while walking only two and striking out seven. Do I think Koehler is as good as those numbers indicate? Eh, not really. However, TK has had back-to-back solid starts and he draws the White Sox this week. The ChiSox have struggled producing runs this season and while they have cut down on the Ks, they are still striking out with great aplomb. Now the one drawback is the Marlins are not known for providing run support, so this may not be a great chance at a “W”, but you should get some help with your peripherals.

Travis Wood, CHC- Travis Wood, much like life (according to Madonna), is a mystery. I like Travis Wood, always have, but I am still a bit on the fence believing in his early season numbers. Wood is 4-2 with a 2.38 ERA and a WHIP of .92. I can’t imagine Wood can keep these numbers up, and judging by the percent he is owned in most fantasy leagues, I am not alone. Wood is more likely to have an ERA in the high threes. Wood has a LOB% of 80% and a ground ball rate below 40% and is not a strike out pitcher. Some sort of regression should be on its way and I feel like a start against Wood’s former mates in Cincy this week, may be where it begins.

Felix Doubront, BOS- It should be widely known that Doubront is a favorite of mine. I was high on Felix in the preseason. With a solid xFIP and K-rate, Doubront was high on my sleeper list. Now the numbers have not been great for Felix this season, although the xFIP, SIERA and K/9 were not terrible, until a clunker against Texas and a bad relief outing. The biggest issue has been the walks. Doubront has been all over the place, walking almost six batters per nine innings. This is a wild card stream for sure, but you can count on the Ks, especially against the White Sox. The White Sox have struggled to score runs, so while I can’t fully support this stream, I do think there is a 50-50 shot Doubront gets a quality start in the Windy City

Wandy Rodriguez and Francisco Liriano, PIT- I am lumping these two Pirate southpaws together. Both are similar this week in streaming. Both pitchers face the Cubs this week, at home. Liriano has looked sharp in his first two starts since returning from the disabled list. Sure they were against the Mets and Brewers who have not been world beaters at the plate, as both are towards the bottom of the league in runs scored in May. Wandy’s last two starts have been just as good, lacking the strikeouts, also against the Mets and Brewers. Now the Cubs have actually started to score a few runs here and there over the last couple of weeks, but nevertheless I would say roll the dice on both Bucs starters this week.

Jason Vargas, LAA- Jason Vargas is far from a flashy fantasy pitching option, to say the least, and the numbers pretty much back this statement up. Vargas is solid however. and I like him this week, because he is matched up against the Royals. The Royals are in the bottom third of the league in most offensively productive categories, so I think you may see one of Vargas’ best starts of 2013.

Scott Kazmir, CLE- There are still plenty of seats available on the Scott Kazmir bandwagon folks. Sure Kaz was roughed up by the Phils in his last outing, but most of his starts have been excellent. Kazmir’s velocity has been good as has K-rate and he has two starts this week. The first one is a no-brainer start for Kazmir as he faces the punchless Mariners, but the second start is against the BoSox and this one is iffy. I would take the first start against the Ms and hold off against the start against Boston.

Andrew Cashner, SD- The K-rate is lower than I would expect from Cash-money thus far, but the ERA has been solid. Cashner’s xFIP, SIERA and strand rate point to bit of an ERA regression, AC heads out to the desert this week to face the D-backs. This match up is tough to gauge for Cashner, but I think, if I had to, I would say roll the dice on this one.

Hector Santiago, CWS- Santiago has been up and down as a starter in 2013. The up? 12.1 innings pitched against the Mets and Twins, allowing one earned run, striking out 14. The down? 3.1 innings pitched against the Angels on Saturday, in which he allowed four earned runs. Ups, downs, what have yous, bottom line is Santiago starts against the Marlins this week and frankly that is really probably all I had to say because the Marlins offense is not even close to good right now.

Justin Grimm, TEX- Seems like “Reaper” has appeared here quite a bit and with good reason, he is not quite worth rostering year round. Plus Grimm is still outpitching his projections, but his ERA and WHIP thus far are about on par with how he is currently pitching. In other words, Grimm’s ERA and WHIP seem accurate thus far. Love him or hate him, Grimm faces the Mariners this week, and while they are not the Marlins, this is more or less a great match up for Grimm.

Bronson Arroyo, CIN- Arroyo has always been a middle of the road, reliable, innings eating pitcher. You will not get a lot of strikeouts, but Bronson also rarely gets completely rocked when he takes the hill. Arroyo has given up more than four earned runs in only one start this season and has only gone less than six innings in one start this season. In the one start Arroyo did not go six innings, he went five. There is never anything spectacular about Arroyo’s numbers, but he does manage a lot of quality starts, Arroyo faces the Cubs this week and for some reason I like this one. Cubs are putting runs on the board, but I like the chance for a QS and a “W”.

Well, that’s all I got this week, good luck, godspeed and happy streaming!

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The Rotation Crush; It’ll Be A Thing

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The Rotation Crush; It’ll Be A Thing

Posted on 04 February 2013 by Will Emerson

There are crushes, there are man-crushes, there are bro-mances, heck, I even have my advanced stat man-crush, Ben Zobrist! But I am going to add a new kind of crush to the list. A rotation crush! See, I was pouring over pitching stats, preparing for upcoming fantasy drafts, as I am want to do and came across the Chicago Cubs starting rotation and well, woah, mama! After just a quick glance I realized that, yes, I now had starting rotation  crush!

mgarza

Yep, the Cub rotation has me all starry-eyed. I may even plaster my bedroom walls with their pictures, posters and other assorted memorabilia,. Okay, I probably won’t  go to that much of an extreme. Probably. But, that is neither here nor there. The Cub rotation is my kind of rotation. Seems, like it has been a tad bit under the radar, but the Cubbies, in general, are actually well on their way to building themselves back up and into the real of respectability and it starts with their starting pitching. Garza, Jackson, Baker, Samardzija, Villanueva, Wood. Okay it does not sound overly intimidating or like a legitimate law firm, sure. Also, it’s not the Brave rotations of the 90s or the A’s of the early 2000′s. It’s not even the Phillies ace rotation of a couple seasons ago, for that matter. They are probably not going to adorn the cover of Sports Illustrated with a clever and catchy cpation next to them, any time soon, okay. But they are, unbeknownst to many, quite solid. I am not saying any of these picthers are gonna be winning the Cy Young Award in 2013, but in their starting picthing, the Cubs have a solid building block. Peruse these numbers from 2012 (2011 for Scott Baker since he missed all of 2012)

Matt Garza:              3.59 xFIP, 3.60 SIERA, 1.18 WHIP, 8.33 K/9

Jeff Samardzija:      3.38 xFIP, 3.40 SIERA, 1.22 WHIP, 9.27 K/9

Edwin Jackson:       3.79 xFIP, 3.75 SIERA, 1.22 WHIP, 7.97 K/9

Scott Baker:              3.61 xFIP, 3.44 SIERA, 1.17 WHIP, 8.22 K/9

Carlos Villanueva: 4.09 xFIP, 3.72 SIERA, 1.27 WHIP, 8.76 K/9

Travis Wood:           4.62 xFIP, 4.41 SIERA, 1.20 WHIP, 6.87 K/9

Well, I think you can quickly see why my inaugural rotation crush is for the 2013 Cubs. The advanced stas are very consistently above average for the most part. Sure, Wood is a bit of an outlier, but Travis Wood is just a pitcher I like. One of those pitchers I just like for no statistical or gut reason whatsoever. I have a similar unexplained affinity for Chris Volstad, but I am veering a bit off course, here. Back to the rotation crush. My guess is that Wood ends up coming out of the bullpen for the Cubbies, anyway, but who knows what could happen in Spring Training? Alright, focus. Roatation crush. Looking at these advanced stats, you have to feel the Cubs are going to be in a lot of their games and will not need to tax their bullpen all that much. Each one of these pitchers (okay, with the exception of Villanueva) have been high on my list for quite some time and are now all in one glorious rotation in Chicago! Again, though, let’s not start throwing these guys Cy Young votes just yet. While I can barely contain my excitement about this rotation, there are certainly some question marks hovering above it.

First off, you have Scott Baker. Now, I have liked Scotty Baker for awhile and I do like the move to the National League. The change of scenery should certainly do him well, even if he is moving to a more hitter friendly park. The concern though is that he did miss all of 2012 recovering from Tommy John surgery. Missing a season of baseball, for any reason, especially an injury and super especially (yes I said super especially, deal with it) for an arm or shoulder injury, will make things somewhat difficult. At some point Baker should be at, or at least close to, his former self, but there is no telling when that may be. Word is he will be ready for the start of the regular season and early projections make it seem like most baseball prognosticators think he will be up on the bump looking like he has not skipped a beat. There is no guarantee on what Baker will provide, but it is definitely worth whatever small risk there is, for the Cubbies. But Baker, of course, is not the only question mark in this rotation.

“The Shark” , Jeff Samardzija had a very, very good season in 2012. There were a few bumps along the way, *cough* June *cough*, but he still finished the season with some very respectable numbers. Plus, you have to love a 44.6 ground ball rate coupled with a K/9 over nine! Trust me, you have to! That’s not a ton of fly balls, which is great if, like “the Shark”, you pitch a lot of games at Wrigley Field. The one main concern/question around Samardzija, is whether or not he can duplicate his 2012 numbers in 2013. Looking at the numbers, themselves, nothing really points to a regression in 2013. In fact, if anything, they point to a bit of an improvement. So what’s the problem? Well, if you buy into this sort of thing, it could be his inning total from 2012. His innings thrown in 2012 were the most he has thrown in any season of professional baseball. In fact, it almost double his 2011 innnings thrown, back when he was coming out of the bullpen. But hey, the numbers point to some improvement, so maybe the innnings thing will counter act the expected improvement and he will duplicate those 2012 numbers, in 2013. Did that make sense? No? Yeah, it seemed to make more sense in my head. Personally, I think Shark will be fine in 2013, but I could see that increased innings thing being a mild concern to some. Of course numbers and projections are great, but they are not the end all, be all. They cannot always tell the whole story, per se.

Any baseball fan who follows stats, especially advanced stats, knows that while these stats can be helpful and show patterns, point to regressions, etcetera, etcetera, and should help us predict future performance, this is not always the case. When you look at this Cub rotation and see those xFIP and SIERA numbers, it looks all fine and dandy, peachy keen. For whatever reason though, we know it is highly unlikely that each of these pitchers will have an ERA matching, or even close to, their xFIPs or SIERAs. At the very least you have to like your odds if you are Theo Epstein and company over there in the Cubs front office. I know I sure do! When you have a fifth starter with the potential to strike out close to nine batters per nine innings, well everything else should be cream cheese. So congratulations to the 2013 Chicago Cubs starting picthers for becoming my very first rotation crush! You should feel greatly honored. Well, enough out of me, I have to go track down a life-sized Jeff Samardzija cardboard cutout.

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25 random thoughts

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25 random thoughts

Posted on 10 January 2013 by Chris Caylor

The hot stove has been anything but for the past couple of weeks and spring training is still over a month away. To help tide you over, here are 25 random thoughts about baseball:

ToriiHunter

  1. I am still shaking my head at the Hall of Fame voters. You sanctimonious, self-important knuckleheads.
  2. Speaking of knuckleheads, don’t you just feel bad for poor Torii Hunter? He gets misquoted and taken out of context more than any athlete in history. To be on the safe side, maybe he ought to just shut up.
  3. The Orioles’ 2012 season = the Arizona Cardinals’ Super Bowl run in 2008.
  4. What do you suppose Kevin Youkilis’ reaction would have been at this time last year if you suggested he’d be playing for the Yankees in 2013?
  5.  “Dear Michael Young: the grass isn’t always greener.” – Nomar Garciaparra.
  6. Listen up, people: the Stephen Strasburg and Robert Griffin situations are completely different. Strasburg was not injured; Griffin was. Apples and oranges. Guys like Jon Heyman, who droned on and on about how smart the Nationals were to shut Strasburg down, seem to lose sight of that fact. The Nationals were three outs away from the NLCS without Strasburg; where might they have ended up with him? World Series victories don’t grow on trees.
  7. Although I don’t see it happening, the vision of Michael Bourn and a healthy Rafael Furcal at the top of the Cardinals’ lineup greatly intrigues me.
  8. Although if they did sign Bourn, the Cards could use Jon Jay as part of a package to acquire Asdrubal Cabrera from the Indians. Cabrera could play 2B and slide over to SS when (note: not if) Furcal ends up on the DL, then take over SS full-time after Furcal’s contract expires next year.
  9. If the Cardinals were to end up trading some of their young pitchers as part of a Cabrera deal, I wonder if they would reconsider their stance on Kyle Lohse, who has got to be frustrated watching Edwin Jackson get $52 million from the Cubs while his phone sits silent.
  10. Here’s an idea: Lohse to the Pirates. If Francisco Liriano’s deal indeed falls through due to his non-throwing arm injury, adding Lohse would fortify the rotation in front of James McDonald and Wandy Rodriguez.
  11. Nobody asked me, but here are some things that would improve the watchability of a baseball game:
  12. Forbid the players from stepping out of the batter’s box after every pitch. You do not need to adjust your batting gloves (or spit on them and smack your hands together) after you watch a ball bounce in the dirt, you anal retentive jocks.
  13. Automatically award a ball against every pitcher who takes longer than 30 seconds to come set and throw a pitch. You want to put that stupid little slingshot that shoots t-shirts into the stands between innings? Use it to drill Josh Beckett with a water balloon next time he takes 15 minutes between pitches. Throw the bleeping ball already.
  14. A 4th umpire in a replay booth to review close plays on the bases, fair/foul calls and questionable home runs. Come on, Bud. It’s time. Don’t be as obstinate and out of touch as Roger Goodell.
  15. Get rid of umpires like Bob Davidson and Joe West. A Walking Dead zombie could do a better job than these chumps. Seriously. Nobody goes to a game to see the Ump Show. Now then, moving on to other things…
  16. Football fans who call baseball boring need to really look at all the down time between plays of a football game. Truth be told, it’s nearly equal, particularly when you factor in all the officiating delays in a football game.
  17. I still believe Justin Upton is the Rangers’ starting right fielder on Opening Day.
  18. Speaking of the Rangers, I presume that Lance Berkman’s signing means that Nolan Ryan has gotten over that World Series Game 6 thing.
  19. At the risk of blaspheming, I have accepted that the DH likely is coming to the National League. Watching pitchers try to bunt – or even swing a bat – is often excruciating.
  20. In fact, with interleague play becoming an everyday part of the baseball schedule, it may as well be sooner rather than later. Just give each team an extra bench spot. The players union ought to be pleased with the 30 new jobs, no?
  21. Not counting teams that have deliberately blown themselves up (coughMARLINScough), is there a team that has done less to improve itself during the offseason than the Rockies? It’s
  22. Player A: .244/.333/.344, 5 HR, 34 RBI, 26 SB in 453 PA. Player B: .263/.299.504, 20 HR, 57 RBI in 398 PA, 2.0 WAR. Player A is the Giants’ Gregor Blanco, who was considered by some baseball writers to be their most underrated player in 2012. Player B is free agent Scott Hairston. He shouldn’t be used too much against righties, but teams needing an outfielder could do a lot worse.
  23. For you Mets fans hoping the team will sign a free agent to upgrade your team’s outfield, here’s what remains out there besides Bourn and Hairston: Grady Sizemore, Delmon Young, Nyjer Morgan, Rick Ankiel, Travis Buck.  YEESH.
  24. Anyone surprised that no one has taken an interest in Roy Oswalt after he whined and pouted his way through that “comeback” in Texas? Me either. Don’t call us, Roy, we’ll call you.
  25. I end with one of my favorite quotes, by Rogers Hornsby: “People ask me what I do in the winter when there’s no baseball. I’ll tell you what I do: I stare out the window and wait for spring.”

Follow me on Twitter @ccaylor10

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Matheny-bp

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Bolstering the Cardinals’ bullpen (again)

Posted on 27 July 2012 by Chris Caylor

About this time last year, the St. Louis Cardinals were in dire need of pitching help. Adam Wainwright was out for the year, Jake Westbrook was struggling, and the bullpen was like Forrest Gump’s box of chocolates.

Once again, this season, the Cards need some reinforcements for their pitching staff. Chris Carpenter is out for the year, Jaime Garcia is out until mid-August (best case) and the bullpen has been up and down, particularly from the left side.

Last year, they dealt away Colby Rasmus and other spare parts to acquire Edwin Jackson, Octavio Dotel and Marc Rzepczynski. Rzep, known as “Scrabble” to many fans, became the top lefty specialist; Dotel took over the “fireman” role, often coming in to get strikeouts in key situations. We know how well that deal worked out for the Cardinals.

Here we are in 2012, and the Birds on the Bat need a similar deal. Scrabble has struggled this year. Rookie Barret Browning has done quite well so far, but will it last? Brian Fuentes was recently added to the roster in hopes he has something left. Since Fuentes was dumped by the Oakland A’s, I’m a bit skeptical. But hey, he can’t be any worse than J.C. Romero, right?

At closer, Jason Motte has been solid. Mitchell Boggs has a nice scoreless streak going, but I’m just not sure he is the right guy to take over Dotel’s role from 2011. Fernando Salas, such a rock last year, pitched so poorly earlier this year he was sent to Triple-A Memphis (although he has improved since being recalled). Victor Marte was used heavily the first two months of the season and wore down. He was sent down earlier this week to make room for Fuentes. The remaining bullpen spot has been a revolving door that need to be slammed shut (paging Chuck Norris!).

With that in mind, here are three relievers the Cardinals should target who would solidify their bullpen for another stretch run:

1) Matt Belisle, Colorado Rockies – The Rockies are reluctant to trade the consistent Belisle, as he is signed to a club-friendly deal through 2013 with a mutual option for 2014. With Todd Helton nearing the end of the road and Allen Craig looking like the long-term first baseman in St. Louis, first base prospect Matt Adams should be enough to pry Belisle away.

2) Wade Davis, Tampa Bay – Davis would be starting for most teams in baseball, but he has done well out of the pen this year, pitching to a 2.70 ERA with 52 strikeouts in 46 2/3 innings. Adams also should be enough for the Rays, who have got to be sick and tired of Carlos Pena and his anemic production.

3) Jason Marquis, San Diego - Just checking to see if you’re paying attention. Put the sharp object down, please.  Luke Gregerson is the guy to get from the Padres.  The former Cardinal farmhand has been the epitome of steadiness in San Diego, pitching to a 1.12 WHIP the past three seasons and striking out over a batter per inning.  Gregerson likely would come at a cheaper cost than Belisle or Davis (Robert Stock maybe?). Plus, bringing him back to the Cardinals would help negate the disastrous Khalil Greene trade.

Any of these relievers would be capable of assuming the fireman role so capably filled last year by Dotel. I don’t expect a huge trade like last year’s Colby Rasmus deal, but we know that Cards GM John Mozeliak is unafraid to make moves to bolster his team’s roster. If Mozeliak is able to patch his team’s bullpen as well as he did in 2011, the Cardinals would again become the most complete team in the NL Central. As well as the Pirates and Reds are playing right now, it’s becoming clear that the Cardinals need to make a move before the deadline if they want to keep pace.

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10 Best Storylines Through the All-Star Break

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10 Best Storylines Through the All-Star Break

Posted on 11 July 2012 by Dennis Lawson

Special Edition Cano Jersey to Commemorate HR Derby Performance

Admit it.  You find yourself easily distracted by a funny headline, creative story lede, or shiny objects.  If none of those things were true, you probably would not read something written by the author of the “Point and Grunt Baseball” series on this site.  Fortunately, you made it here by choice, and we’re all about 12 years old in either dog years or social maturity.  Either way, the top 10 story lines through the All-Star break should appeal to your inner child.

10.  “Reigning NL MVPee Ryan Braun Beats the Rap” – Regardless of how competent arbitrator Shyam Das may or may not be, Braun took on the system and won.  Also, many of us learned about the “chain of custody” concept and that storing another man’s urine in your refrigerator for the weekend seems completely normal under the right circumstances.

9.  “Washington Nationals Suck Less Than Expected” – The Nationals reached the break with a record of 49-34 and a lead of 4 games over the Atlanta Braves.  Amazing news, especially considering the fact that the highest WAR produced by a position player for the Nationals is 2.1 by Ian Desmond.  The highest ERA for any starting pitcher belongs to Edwin Jackson (3.73), and Ross Detwiler, Gio Gonzalez, Stephen Strasburg, and Jordan Zimmermann have been as solid as any starting staff in baseball.  Perhaps even more impressively, the bullpen consists primarily of 4 guys who have ERAs below 2.00.  Tyler Clippard deserves credit for locking down the last inning, but Craig Stammen, Sean Burnett, and Ryan Mattheus have done a great job of not dropping the baton before the anchor leg.

8.  “San Francisco Giants in the Hunt Despite Tim Lincecum’s Barry Zito Impersonation” – The Giants have a starter with an ERA of 6.42 and 3 wins, and that pitcher’s name isn’t Barry Zito.  Then again, Matt Cain, Madison Bumgarner, and Ryan Vogelsong provide a 3-headed pitching monster that can go pitch for pitch with the best of them.  If Timmeh gets on track, they should pass the Dodgers and run away with the division.  If not, then they just need to realize that the Dodgers cannot win with just Andre Ethier and Matt Kemp alone.

7.  “Phillies Not Likely to Bring Hamels Back (yeah!)” – Everything from Hamels to Victorino to Utley to the Liberty Bell may hit the trading block in Philadelphia soon.  Watching a team that went 102-60 a year ago plummet to a 37-50 record at the break might be as bad as watching your pet rock be euthanized.  It will not take long, and you will not enjoy it.

6.  “Mike Trout Claims Baseball Jebus Title from Bryce Harper” – This could be Ali-Frazier, Pujols-Votto, Tweety-Sylvester for 2012 and beyond.  More likely, these are just two really good players with potentially bright futures.  I would get more excited, but I do not care for player comparisons until someone starts pushing up close to 40 WAR, several Gold Gloves, a couple Cy Youngs, or $100M in career earnings.  Also, Harper’s season pales in comparison to Trout’s season.

5.  “Nobody Really Cares That Pujols Left St. Louis” – After all the drama and much ado about nothing, a good portion of Cardinal Nation does not care one bit about Pujols playing elsewhere.  Nobody but the meth addicts using mobile meth labs in Wal-Mart wanted the Cardinals to hand him a 10-year deal worth anything north of $225M.  Pu, don’t go away mad, just go away.

4.  “The Weekly Broadcast of Yankees vs Red Sox on ESPN Still Takes 5 Hours” – If ESPN could possibly dig up video of 2 Little League teams in “Yankees” and “Red Sox” tshirts playing, the network would preempt Bob Ley to show it.  The next chance the folks at Bristol get to air fans of both teams angrily playing frisbee in a parking lot 2 hours before first pitch, that moment will make Web Gems later that night.  The amount of time and saliva dedicated to a division leading team playing against a team 9.5 games back amounts to the Mt. Everest of insufferable ignorance.

3.  “Aaron Hill Now the Rodney Dangerfield of Baseball” – No respect.  Hill made it to the break with a line of .300/.355/.505/.860 with 11 HR and 40 RBI while playing some solid baseball at 2B.  Dan Uggla wins the stupid vote despite being unable to scratch his own back without using  a tree.

2.  “The Texas Rangers Are Still Better Than Just About Everybody Else at Just About Everything” – The team could probably explain the Higgs Boson, cure the common cold, and land an airplane unassisted while hammering a metric butt-tonne of home runs.  Also, they lost CJ Wilson and added Yu Darvish which I consider a win in just about every department except “Most Douches per Team”.

1.  “The Mets Suck Just Slightly More Than the Nationals” – By itself, this statement may not surprise too many people.  Put it in the context of the Mets being only 4.5 games back of the division leading Nats, and it shocks even Mr. Met.  Though I still do not think they will make the playoffs, the fact that they brought us the “Dickey vs Wang” jokes remains a priceless gift to amateur comedians everywhere.

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